The Diaries of Ayesha

The Diaries of Ayesha

Does familiarity breed contempt? Or 24/7 in the real world

Author: Dr. Charles Forbin
©Copyright 1997

Having achieved a slightly unwarranted reputation as an "expert" on D/s relationships due to my involvement with Mistress Minx and Ay'esha, here is my latest set of observations on the world.

Many times I have been asked either in e-mail or in person how Mistress Minx and I deal with the scene twenty four hours a day, what it's like serving her all the time, etc.

The simple answer is: We don't.

Now that may sound flippant, but it's not intended to be.

Mistress Minx and I have our real-world concerns and while our lives are intertwined with each other, she has hers and I have mine.

There are long periods of time that I do not see my Mistress, as her business and her schooling keeps her schedule full, and we can only meet for a brief time for a quick dinner and conversation.

Does that change the nature of my submission to her? No.

We play very seldom now, but the time we have together for play is always special.

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Contrast this to a situation between Mistress G. and her submissive.

After many months of meetings, Mistress G and her slave decided to move into a place together

At last report the two of them had less play time than ever before.

Why?

Is it that the two of them have more real-world concerns that they did before?  Or is the relationship somehow less exciting now that they live together?

Having lived in a 24/7 with a Mistress, there is a certain amount of adjustment to be made when you see her first thing in the morning in a robe with her hair tousled and having a severe case of morning breath, compared to seeing her in her full leathers, hair perfectly coiffed,and a breath as sweet as honey wine.

Incidently, I am NOT referring to Mistress Minx for this example.

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In the case of Mistress G and her slave, it was the adjustment of dealing with each other "In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer"

A good D/s relationship is a marriage of sorts, stronger than some, weaker than others.

Mistress G has a real world job as a designer of computer software for her own company. Her submissive has a job as an accountant for an engineering company.

Mistress G's job is flexible, her submissive's job isn't.

So the trick comes down to finding time for play.

At last report, the quest goes on.

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When you don't live with your Mistress or Master, the time you get from them is an honor.

Living with them however you can begin to feel they "owe" you time.

This is a quick way to disaster in the relationship.

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A second example is the tale of a submissive female friend of mine who became involved with her "dream Master".

She quit her job, left her husband, and proceeded to move into her Master's house two states away from her previous life.

This was in August. She returned to her old life in October.

She was lucky in the fact her husband loved her enough to accept her return.

Why did she return?

"He always wanted to play, always wanted me submissive, and I couldn't deal with it."

She discovered that having to play was different than serving on weekends or vacations or as she needed it.

Now, some might be saying that she isn't a good submissive, or He wasn't a good Master.

It's a bit of both.

As a Dominant, a Mistress or Master has a responsibility to see that the needs of the submissive are met as well as the desires of the Dominant.

By putting his desires over understanding of her needs, the relationship failed.

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Mistress Minx is very indulgent of my needs, and when she can not fulfill them due to time or other interference, she allows me to serve others to fulfill my need to submit to a woman.

Being a servant of Ay'esha, I have an obligation to glorify my Mistress by performing exceptionally well when serving another Mistress.

Mistress Minx and I attend parties and shows at times where she will demonstrate her skills on other slaves.

Despite my training, I am still bothered by this , because I would always like to be at the center of her Universe as she is in mine.

But then I remind myself of the big picture.

Yes, she is playing with another slave. But I am the one who gets to see her as a person, not the imperious Mistress Minx of Ay'esha.

I am privileged to share that part of her life, a part she doesn't share with others freely.

We deal with the question of  24/7 by not making it overtly 24/7.

If I don't feel well, that's accepted. If She's had a bad day or I have and we were going to play, we don't.

We accept each others moods and needs. Sometimes we meet, we talk, we have a nice Thai dinner together , and I walk her home.

Perhaps we never discuss the Scene, or my submission. We might just discuss music or bad movies, or family.

But she accepts my service and I submit to her will.

And that never changes, and never stops, and is accepted as a fact as definite as the rising of the Sun or the movement of the tides.

And perhaps the best way to explain it is the old Anglican wedding ceremony.

"To love, honor, and obey, until death do you part."