The Diaries of Ayesha

Did you ever have to make up your mind,
To pick up on one and leave the other behind?
It's not always easy and not often kind.
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

That was the dilemma that Mistress Minx saddled me with after reading some of the e-mail traffic that came in.

"Michael, do you realize that you have no less than three Mistresses and four submissive females corresponding with you on a regular basis?", she said. "Add to that the personal service you give Susan and I, and you're spreading yourself a bit thin."

"It's not affecting my performance is it?", I asked defensively.

"I don't know. Is it?" she replied pointedly.

I considered what she was saying.

"OK, so I'll stop responding to my personal e-mail," I said.

She shook her head.

"That's not what I'm saying and you know it."

"So what are you saying?" I asked.

She sighed and looked at the e-mail logs.

"Michael, are you serious about any of these women?"

"Well sure."

"Which one?"

"All of them.", I said directly.

"All of them?", she said in disbelief.

"Why not?", I challenged. "You know one of the things I'm supposed to do is encourage and teach new Dommes and subs."

"I know that Michael. But that's not what's happening. These women are falling in love with you.", she insisted.

"I doubt that.", I laughed startled at the idea.

She just stared at me.

"You really don't know do you?"

"Know what?", I said mystified.

"You really are that oblivious. Goddess!", she swore.

"Would you please stop telling me I'm stupid. Blind yes, stupid no.", I protested.

"I never said you were stupid.", she snapped. "You just don't realize the effect you have on some women."

Now I was really confused.

"Mistress, these young ladies only see the stories. They really don't know anything about me. I'm just a teller of tales."

"And the Keeper of the Holy Rings of Betazed. You are a very visible example of the type of man that is involved with Ay'esha. You are loving, honest, brave, determined and worthy of being loved.", she explained.

"I'm a confirmed old widower and likely to stay that way. I shall never let a woman in my life.", I countered.

She laughed.

"Save that for the stage. You let me into your life."

"You dragged me into your life you might recall. I simply stopped to help a young lady change a tire.", I retorted.

"Are you complaining?"

"Well not exactly.", I admitted abashed.

"All right then. But you still need to decide what you're going to do about this problem."

"I still don't see it as a problem. The submissives all know about each other and the Mistresses all know I serve you first.", I replied.

"You'll see.", was all she said and dismissed me.

I don't know if Minx deleted some of the e-mail to teach me a lesson or what, but that Friday I received a phone call from one of the submissives I had been teaching.

Now, I should explain that while I submit to Mistress Minx and other Daughters of Ay'esha, I have been known to assist in training female submissives.

It makes a nice change of pace, and dealing with Miriam and her "Yes Master" only increases my occasional desire to be dominant.

Man does not live by bread alone.

So, anyway it turned out the submissive was in town for a convention and wanted to meet with me.

"Yes slave, you may. Where are you staying?", I asked.

" At the Huntington on California, Master. I'm in room 1090.", she replied softly.

"Then I'll pick you up for dinner at Yamato's.", I directed.

"Yes Master. I will be there.", she said.

"Good.", I said and hung up.

I was calling the restaurant to make reservations when Minx came out of her office and stopped at my desk and waited for me to finish.

"Who was that for?", she asked when I hung up.

"Oh, one of the submissives that I've been writing to is in town, so I'm taking her out to dinner.", I explained.

"Which one?"

"Mandy."

"So you're taking her to dinner at Yamato's. Then what?", Minx prompted.

"And then I'm escorting her back to her hotel and bidding her good night."

She rolled her eyes back in her head and sighed.

"Forgive him Goddess, he knows not what he does.", she said.

"Do you really think that once she meets me, she'll even be interested? Miss Dawes, I am old enough to be her father.", I objected.

"Father?", she said with a raised eyebrow.

"OK, older brother."

"Michael, I want you to use the limo tonight. And I won't be home, so if you want to use the dungeon you may. I'll tell Miriam you may be stopping by.", she ordered.

"I really don't think ...", I started to say.

"No you don't. Listen to me. If she wants to play, play with her. If she wants more than that, use your best judgment and play safe.", she continued.

All right. But you're wrong.", I said grudgingly.

"Michael. I'm a woman. I'm not wrong.", she said smugly.

I drove home and changed and then called for the limo to come to the house.

I still didn't think Minx was right about my attractiveness to women, although I knew she thought I was a little bit attractive.

Think of Beauty and the Beast and you have it.

As Minx's driver and I made our way through the streets of the City, I considered my approach to this woman.

Should I try suave? Aggressive? Cool?

And then gave up.

I might as well be myself and the hell with it.

After all I wasn't planning on doing anything more than have dinner and talk with this woman.

On the other hand, I didn't have any idea what she was planning.

When I knocked on the door of room 1090 I heard a young woman's voice call for me to come in.

I opened the door carefully and saw the room awash in candlelight and her kneeling in the middle of the room wearing only G-string with a garter belt and stocking, and heels, holding a collar in her hands.

"The Lady Amanda, I presume.", I said with a polite nod.

"Yes Master Michael. Thank you for seeing me.", she said softly.

"Well I'm certainly seeing more of you than I expected.", I said controlling my reactions.

I walked to her and looked down upon her kneeling form as she lowered her eyes.

"I wanted you to place it on me Master. A sign of respect.", she almost whispered.

I shook my head in amazement.

It is said that the pen is mightier is mightier than the sword, but in this case the power of it was a bit humbling.

I had a half-naked girl in front of me, sworn to be my sex slave.

Wowzsers!

"You understand that with this collar, you will serve as I command.", I said looking down on her.

"Yes Master.", she said.

"Look up at me.", I commanded, thinking of all the times I had heard that command myself.

She looked up and into my eyes and I saw the fear and the excitement in them.

"You know that I serve Mistress Minx. If I collar you, you are sworn to her service as well. Do you understand?", I pressed.

She hesitated and then nodded.

"I didn't hear you SLAVE! Tell me what you understand.", I said sharply.

"I understand that I must obey Mistress Minx as well as yourself Master.", she said quickly.

"And how would you feel to see me submit to a woman, to be forced to watch?", I continued.

"I would hate it Master.", she said honestly.

"But it isn't your right to object, slave. If Mistress Minx feels it is necessary to have you watch me submit, you will obey.", I corrected.

"I will always obey you Master. I will not enjoy watching you suffer any more than you enjoyed watching Minx suffer for your disobedience.", she said firmly.

"And what if I bring in another slave, to have you both serve me?"

"I will serve alongside another. I know a man like you needs variety in his life.", she said simply.

"And you know I can not keep you at all times. You may feel neglected, but I expect you to understand.", I warned.

"As you have written yourself Master, 'Affairs of State come before affairs of state' ", she said starting to smile.

I smiled back at her.

"Then if you understand these conditions, I will place the collar upon you and you will be mine.", I said taking it from her.

"I understand Master and will submit to anything you desire from me.", she said proudly.

"Anything is a dangerous word to use with any dominant. I will hold you to it.", I advised and then attached the collar around the neck of my new slave.

I insisted that Amanda wear her collar to dinner, despite her concerns and embarrassment.

" I'm just afraid that someone for the convention will see me.", she murmured as we waited for the elevator to arrive.

"Too bad.", I said, thinking of all the times that kind of fear had crossed my mind. "Just ignore them. You should take pride in your collar and service to me."

"Oh I do Master. I'm just a little nervous.", she stuttered.

"Then trust me to protect you.", I said as the doors opened.

I stared down the people in the elevator car who were whispering to each other about her neck decoration, and watched her start to blush slightly.

When we arrived at the lobby I escorted her out and stroked her back softly and reassuringly.

"You did very well in there. Now, let's see how well you do at dinner.", I said as Minx's driver, Tia, opened the door for her.

The restaurant was full when we arrived, but my calling ahead for a reservation helped immensely and we were soon seated at a table, or more precisely kneeling at a table.

I'd picked Yamato's for exactly that reason.

Amanda wasted no time in assuming her role as my servant, feeding me my teriyaki steak a piece at a time, and for herself, nibbling at her sushi daintily.

We were about halfway through the meal when things became a bit more complicated.

"Aren't you Michael Forbin?", I heard a soft voice say behind me as I closed my eyes in pleasure and leaned back.

I opened them to see a lovely dark haired woman standing over me.

"Yes?" I answered warily.

"I saw your picture on the Internet and wrote you a letter. My name is Jocelyn Van Horn.", she said.

Jocelyn. Holy Frack.

We had become rather intimate over the web and I had offered a chance at a collar if she came to the City.

"Nice to meet you Miss Van Horn." I said sitting up. "This is my slave Amanda."

"How nice to meet you.", she said offering her hand to Amanda who took it cautiously.

"You'll join us of course.", I suggested gently.

Jocelyn looked away for me for a moment and back to a table in the shadows. I saw a figure nod to her and she took a place at the end of the table.

"Thank you Master.", she said with pride.

"Oh boy", I thought. "This is going to be a problem."

I watched Amanda for any signs of rebellion and saw nothing but amusement in her eyes and from Jocelyn's easy manner, I was getting the impression I'd been set up but good.

"Excuse me ladies, but I need to speak to someone.", I said rising and walking towards the shadowy figure.

Minx looked up at me with glee as I stood before her table.

"Would you care to join us?", I asked sarcastically.

"Oh no. I'm having far too much fun watching from here.", she said cheerfully.

"And do I need to worry about a knife in the back from Miss Van Horn?", I prodded.

"Michael, you wound me. I just mentioned to her in an e-mail that you would be here tonight and if she would like to join me for dinner, I'd be happy to escort her. She was a bit shy about meeting you."

"You are really enjoying this aren't you?", I said looking back towards the two women who were talking together pleasantly.

"As a matter of fact, yes.", she said smugly. "I'm looking forward to seeing how you deal with two submissives at the same time."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence.", I said a bit more sharply than I'd intended.

"Careful Michael. You are still my slave.", she warned.

"I'm sorry Mistress. I'm just a bit nervous.", I apologized.

"It's not like they're going to have a catfight over you. Have a good time.", she advised.

"Said the spider to the fly.", I shrugged and returned to the table.

The two women looked up at me as I walked up and then bowed to me as I sat.

"Don't either of you even think of calling me Papa-san.", I warned.

"Yes Papa-san.", they chorused.

I reached over and slipped a finger under Amanda's collar and pulled slightly.

"Would you care to repeat that slave?", I prompted gently.

"Yes Master Papa-san.", she said with a twinkle in her eye.

I released her and turned my attention to Jocelyn who was smiling.

"I can tell that having the two of you together is a bad idea. Do either of you know the Chinese ideogram for trouble? It's two women under one roof.", I explained without waiting for an answer.

The waitress arrived with an additional place setting and Jocelyn ordered teriyaki steak to keep me company.

"And what are you planning on doing to me for calling you Papa-san Master?", Amanda asked as she fed me another bite of steak.

"I think a spanking at the minimum, but perhaps she has other ideas.", I said mildly looking at Jocelyn.

"I'd rather be spanked myself.", she said looking eager.

"I believe Mistress Minx has a wooden paddle large enough to do you both at the same time," I replied thoughtfully.

I knew she did. It was a cricket bat she had purloined from the Institute on one of her visits and even covered my ample fundament easily.

Two little girls with small tight asses would be no problem at all.

"Finish your dinners you two. The Master needs some time to think.", I said softly sipping my tea and glancing back towards Minx.

"Yes Papa-san."

Women!

During the ride back to the hotel I made them both kneel on the floor of the limo while I considered my options.

Plan 1: Deliver the ladies to their respective hotels and retreat gracefully from the field of battle.

Plan 2: Take one of them to Minx's playroom and use her.

Plan 3: Take them both to Minx's and deal with the two of them as well as I could.

And of course, hope plan three didn't deteriorate into Plan Nine from Outer Space.

"Tia, please take us to Mistress Minx's and call Miriam and have her prepare a room for two young ladies and prepare the dungeon," I directed to the pleased smiles of the two women and the wry amusement of Tia.

"Yes sir," she said without blinking and reached for the cell phone.

"And you two had better be ready for anything I dish out," I warned.

The smiles melted away and were replaced by thoughtful looks that made me smile inwardly.

"Papa-san my ass," I thought to myself.

When we arrived at Minx's house Miriam was waiting at the door, dressed in her French Maid's outfit and holding out a silver tray with a black studded collar on it and a pair of leashes.

"The Mistress called and said you would require a new collar for Miss Van Horn," she explained before I could ask about it.

I took the collar from the tray and ordered Jocelyn to kneel before me and asked her the questions I had asked Amanda.

"I understand my duties to you and Mistress Minx," she agreed. "I wish to serve you... Master."

I fastened the collar onto her and noticed for the first time the wording on the small heart shaped tag.

"Michael's Pet," it read.

I looked at Miriam who winked at me discreetly.

Mistress Minx had out thought me again.

I snapped the leashes onto the collars and led the two slaves down into the depths of Minx's dungeon.

Sets of iron shackles hung from the wall, and a large charcoal brazier stood in the middle of the room with branding irons racked next to it. A bondage table stood along one wall and a wrought iron cage stood in a far corner.

A set of stocks were also to be seen and a rack of whips, paddles, crops, and floggers were attached to the wall.

Miriam had lit the candles that were in holders around the room before we arrived and then switched out the main lights leaving us candlelight and shadow.

"I want you both naked, now!" I snapped.

Jocelyn hesitated for a moment, but Amanda wasted no time in removing her clothing.

"Now, where shall we begin," I said after placing Amanda in the stocks and chaining Jocelyn to the wall.

I didn't wait for an answer but walked to the toy rack and pulled down the cricket bat and walked to where she could see me.

"I just wish the stocks were big enough to keep you both in place at the same time. It would save me some effort," I said casually.

Amanda didn't say anything, her eyes just got wide at the sight of the long wooden paddle and I heard a sharp intake of breath from Jocelyn.

"And as to you my pet," I said turning in her direction, " you will also pay for your insolence."

"Please Master, " Amanda said softly," don't use that on me."

I shook my head.

"You decided to challenge me publicly. Now privately I might have excused it, but in public? There is a price to be paid."

I walked behind the girl and started slapping my hand softly with the paddle.

I slipped a hand between her legs and found the first touch of dampness from her excitement and fear.

Jocelyn watched silently from her position on the wall and then cast her eyes down as I looked at her.

"Watch Amanda, Jocelyn. I want you to see what is going to happen to you," I commanded.

She looked up again, a hint of fear in her eyes as I struck the first blow with the paddle with a resounding THWOCK that caused Amanda to gasp in pain and Jocelyn to turn away

"Too much," I asked lightly.

"No Master," she replied through gritted teeth.

"Good. Only four more to go and then its Jocelyn's turn."

I rubbed the paddle across her ass and then drew it back and set it down quietly out of her sight and then used my hand on her tight ass rapidly, four sharp stinging smacks that elicited a moan and then a gasp as I slid my thumb over her swelling clit.

I rubbed my hand in her wetness and then smeared it across her face to her groan of disgust and then released her from the stocks, leading her by the collar to the wall where I chained her up.

"Now Miss Jocelyn, it's your turn," I said releasing the chains and leading her to the stocks where she balked at placing her head in the restraint.

"Please Master," she pleaded as I pushed her head down.

I started to force her and then stopped and released her.

"If you can't follow a simple order like this, then obviously you don't have what it takes to be a slave," I said and started to reach for her collar to remove it.

She stepped away from me and knelt head down, and started to cry.

"And why are you crying my little pet?"

"I failed you," she said in a small childlike voice.

"Yes you did. You don't trust me enough to submit," I chided.

"I do Master, its just that, " her voice trailed off.

"Is the reality of your submission a little too much," I suggested.

"yes."

Before I could say anything in response I heard a soft snicker from Amanda's chained form.

"I suppose you think its funny?" I said harshly. "I suggest you keep your opinion to yourself, slave!"

Amanda fell silent while I helped Jocelyn to her feet and sat her down on the bondage table then sat beside her.

"Do you understand what it takes to be a good slave now? It takes more than a desire to serve, it takes an acceptance of your Mistress or Master's orders without question, trusting in them. Without it, it's not only scary, it can even be dangerous," I cautioned.

She looked at me and then wiped away her tears.

"Then you're not angry with me?"

I shook my head.

"I'm disappointed, but not angry. You are but an egg."

She looked at me strangely.

"A egg?"

"You'll grow into a good submissive, but for now, you're just beginning", I explained.

She nodded slowly and then slipped off the table and onto the floor, placing her head on my booted foot.

"I wish to serve you Master. Please use me," she murmured.

"Take your position," I commanded.

She rose and without resistance placed herself in the stocks and closed her eyes, waiting for her punishment.

I walked to the wall rack of whips and selected a knotted cat o' nine tails and walked back to where Jocelyn waited trembling.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes Master."

I ran the cold leather strands of the whip across her ass and then drew back and made my first stroke.

She gasped in pain as the hard knots hit her ass and then started panting.

"Good girl, breath with the blows," I instructed swinging the cat again.

Her ass reddened more and more under each blow and I heard her breathing lose rhythm.

I stopped and was about to ask if she was all right when I heard her whisper one word.

"More."

I looked at the marks on her ass and the bruises just beginning to appear and walked to a quiet corner of the room to sit and think, Amanda watching me from her restraints on the wall as I saw the silent tears fall from Jocelyn's eyes in her pain.

Could I do more to this young woman?

I knew what she felt. I knew how I felt when Minx or other Mistresses had done things like that to me.

I hurt but I didn't want to give up. I didn't want to disappoint my Mistress.

But I had also learned when to admit my pain, a lesson that Jocelyn hadn't learned yet.

I walked back to where Amanda was chained and released her then strapped her face down onto the bondage table. She wisely kept silent as I did, sparing only a quick glance to where Jocelyn waited tears still seeping from her tightly closed eyes.

I returned to Jocelyn's side and crouched next to her head and wiped the tears from her face with the palm of my hand.

As I did she kissed my palm softly, understanding my feelings, knowing I shared her pain.

"Shall I release you from my service, slave?" I asked softly.

"No Master. I am honored to serve you with my pain," she replied opening her eyes and looking at me with the expression in her eyes I must have when I gaze upon my loving Mistress.

"Very well," I replied." I'm going to give you a break while I pay some attention to this little beast."

I picked up the knotted cat and turned to Amanda's bound form.

"Now, shall we see what you thought was so funny?" I said softly as I drew the whip across her ass.

She flinched and tightened her ass against the coming blows, but I surprised her by using the cat across her back first.

Amanda moaned in shock and pain.

"I see, you can't take what she can, but you still think it's amusing," I observed, using the cat across her ass.

"I'm sorry Master," she panted.

"I have to tell you, I'm just a little disappointed in you too. You offer me your pain, and when I accept it, you can't take it."

"I can take it Master. Use me."

I used the cat across her ass again and then set it aside and selected a flogger.

"We'll see."

I started across her back with the flogger, slowly at first and then increased the speed of the blows, changing patterns until her back was lobster red and I could feel the heat of her flesh by holding my hand above her.

"Much better," I agreed." You did well with the flogger."

"Thank you Master," she slurred, her voice tainted with the euphoria that comes with a good flogging, the endorphins from the pain mellowing her out.

I turned back to Jocelyn

"Are you prepared for a flogging?"

She looked at Amanda, laying on the table in that mixture of pain and pleasure, and spoke two words.

"Yes Master."

It took both Miriam and I to carry Amanda upstairs to the room that had been prepared for her as she was so limp from the flogging, but Jocelyn made it under her own power, although staggering like a drunk most of the way.

As I slipped her into her bed she clasped her arms around my neck and held me.

"Oh thank you Master. I feel so good," she giggled.

"I'm pleased. Now get some sleep," I ordered and covered her up.

She was asleep before I left the room, and I stood in the doorway looking at her with a paternal love.

Miriam was waiting outside the room when I left and together we walked downstairs to the room I used when I was staying at Mistress Minx's.

"Did you enjoy yourself Master?" she asked.

"I did and I didn't. I'm not comfortable with that kind of power over another person Miriam. I don't suppose I ever will be."

"If you were, you would not be of Ay'esha and the Mistress wouldn't care for you as she does. Power is dangerous and the power you can have over a human being is the most dangerous of all. It has to be tempered with compassion. You have that compassion. Many men and women don't."

"How do you know. I might simply have wimped out?" I challenged.

"Because you are talking to me. You aren't with either of those women taking advantage of them and their desires. They love you and you love them in your own way, but you don't want to hurt them."

I sighed and thought about her words.

She was right. I did care for the both of them, but if I made love to either of them, I would hurt the other. I could of course take them both into my bed, but even then there would be a competition or a comparison of them.

"Miriam, how did you get so smart?"

She looked at me and smiled.

"I have very good teachers Master. You among them," she replied.

"Remind me to ask the Mistress to double your pay," I said with a yawn, sliding into the bed.

"Master, I suggest you sleep. I will have breakfast waiting in the garden for you and your guests," she replied with a wink.

As I rolled over she turned out the lights and I heard her softly say "Good night sweet prince, may angels sing thee to thy rest."

"Shakespeare, Hamlet," I muttered.

Breakfast the following morning was an interesting affair, as Mistress Minx joined us after spending the night, well, who knows where.

"I take it that you both enjoyed yourselves?" Mistress Minx asked the two women as Miriam served the juice and coffee.

"I know I did. I haven't slept that well in a long time, " Amanda replied.

"It was very interesting. I'm not quite sure what to make of it, but it was interesting," was Jocelyn's reply.

The Mistress, skillfully turned the discussion to other subjects and let the matter rest until after we had finished eating,and then continued.

"Did it live up to your fantasies?" Mistress Minx asked Amanda as she sipped her morning tea.

Amanda hesitated for a moment looking at me and then shook her head.

"No, it didn't. I had a headful of dreams and I'm afraid the reality didn't live up to it. Not that Michael wasn't good or anything like that it's just that, well it wasn't what I expected," she finally said.

"And you Jocelyn. What do you think?" Minx prompted.

Jocelyn looked at Minx and then at Amanda.

"I think it was one of the best experences of my life. I didn't know what to expect and I was frightened. And instead of being angry, Michael loved me. And I won't forget that," she said with admiration in her voice as she finally looked at me.

"I'm pleased to hear that," Minx replied looking at me. "I don't usually encourage him to be with other women as a rule, but I thought it might be an interesting experience for him."

I just sat silently thinking about the events of the previous night and once more conceeded Mistress Minx's command of the art of understatement.

Amanda broke the silence by looking at her watch.

"Good heavens. I'm due at the conference in an hour!" she exclaimed.

"I'll have Tia drive you to your hotel so you can change. Jocelyn, did you need a ride back as well?" Minx offered.

"If you don't mind. I have to check out of my hotel and catch a flight to Chicago in the afternoon. My husband is picking me up at O'Hare," she said.

"Husband?" I said startled.

"Oh yes, I've been married for years. He isn't into the Scene, but he encourages me to play," she explained.

Oops. It had never occured to me to even ask and I hadn't seen a wedding ring.

"I hope he won't mind the marks," I ventured carefully.

Jocelyn laughed.

"I bear them with pride Master Michael. And as long as I was pleased, it won't bother him at all."

Miriam appeared in response to Minx's summons and went to call Tia after being given her instructions.

"I was meaning to ask," Minx continued," what sort of convention are you here for Amanda?"

Amanda smiled.

"I'm one of the biggest Mary Kay Cosmetics reps in the Midwest. In fact I'm the featured speaker today," was the proud response.

My mind instantly flashed to "Attack of the Mary Kay Commandos" , but I refrained from commenting.

It's not that I have a problem with Mary Kay Cosmetics, but after all that pink clothing, Barney the Purple Dinosaur looks good.

And I wanted a Barney pinata for my birthday.

After the ladies had been dispatched to their various destinations, Mistress Minx focused her attentions on me.

"Now Michael, I'd like to hear your side of what happened," she instructed.

"I'm sure Miriam has already told you what happened. Nothing at all," I replied.

"She told me both of the ladies were so limp after you finished they had to be helped upstairs."

"True enough," I conceeded. "But in the words of Mother Goose, I whipped them all soundly and put them to bed."

"Michael, stop avoiding the question. Did you enjoy being a Master of two women for the night?"

"Damned if I know," I said sheepishly. "I was so busy taking care of them, I didn't stop to think about it. It's a lot of work."

She laughed.

"You're telling me! You wonder why we don't play very much anymore? Now you know. But tell me, who did you like the best?"

I just looked at her and shook my head.

"That is one of those mysteries you may never get answered Mistress. All I can tell you, is I prefer serving to being served as a rule."

"Don't worry Michael. Some of them want to use you, and some of them want to be used by you," she replied.

The rest of the song ran through my head

"Some of them want to abuse you and some of them want to be abused."

Sweet Dreams.

Chapter 24

Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind