The Diaries of Ayesha

"M-5, would you like to go for a walk tonight?", Minx the Controller asked. I looked up from where she had chained me next to the fireplace and nodded my assent.

She had forbidden me to speak, contending I had been granted too much freedom to express myself verbally as of late.

This problem had come to a head after a series of incidents when I had been scolded numerous times, and had come to feel that she was losing her love for me.

When I asked her if that was the case, the resulting blast frightened me into cowering in a corner.

She, in short descriptive terms, pointed out that if that were the case I would have been given an invitation to the world long ago. She pointed out the fact my own lack of self image, despite my obvious and proven ability to serve, was my biggest problem, and that SHE was not going to have any more of that!

She had faith in me, and I'd better get some in myself before she became really angry with me and did sell me for a dog, and swap the dog.

"Now, is that very clear? I do not wish to hear your groundless self doubts again. In fact, until I say otherwise, you will not speak to me without direct permission."

This had persisted for a week, during which time, unless it was absolutely necessary, I was forbidden to speak to her.

This was the first time she had offered me any special attention since then.

I could see through the balcony doors that a fog had settled into the neighborhood, thick and damp. Water beaded up on the glass as I looked out.

Minx left the room and returned a few minutes later dressed in a warm fur coat and carring a bag, and my leash.

She unlocked my chains and snapped the leash onto my collar and directed me towards the door.

I hesitated momentarily as I was naked except for a posing strap, then followed starting to rise onto my feet, but being slapped down onto all fours.

"Presumptuous aren't you? If I want you on your feet, I'll tell you to get up.", she advised.

I followed her out the door of the suite and to the main elevator of the hotel.

I controlled my fear of discovery as best as I could. Minx had that confidence born in her that she was in control of things at all times, and had no fear of anything, that I was aware of.

The elevator door opened and we entered and descended to street level.

She led me out a side door and towards the street corner.

The fog shrouded us, dimming the lights of the city around us. I felt protected by the fog and the presence of my owner. At the intersection she indicated I should rise to my feet to cross the street and then resume my doglike position to enter the park.

The fog became thicker as we entered deeper into the park. My senses became more acute as the blackness closed in around us. I could just see Minx's boots ahead of me as we walked. I smelled the wet grass and earth, and the scent of the late blooming flowers.

I listened for any sounds around us, that would indicate people, but heard nothing except the crickets and the occasional bird. The only human sound was Minx's boot heels tapping on the cobbles of the path.

We walked in silence, my knees become more and more abraded as we ventured deeper into the park. A turn and we were now walking on grass , the cool wetness soothing to my wounds.

The sounds muted into a swishing until she stopped and sat on a bench.

I shivered from the cold and crept as close to her as I could.

"Are you cold M-5", she asked solicitously.

I whimpered and nuzzled her boots.

"I remember the first time you were a dog for me. I put ears and dog feet on you. Even a fur mask. And the tail. How you fought having a tail put on you."

I could hear the smile in her voice and feel the pleasure in the memory for her.

"You have always been a handful, even the night I took you. You tried to attack me.You were afraid, remember?"

I thought about that night so long ago it seemed. I was afraid of her then. I was ignorant of her goodness and ability to love someone like me. And I learned of her love for me, for all of those she had chosen as slaves.

I shivered and thought about the love I had lost once before, and the love I could lose again if I did not unlearn my fears of being unworthy.

Who was I to judge myself? By her standards I had not been found wanting.

I resolved in that cold foggy night that I would prove her faith in me.

I was startled when I felt a touch on my shoulder.

Minx had knelt next to me as I thought about what she had said and how my life had changed.

"What are you thinking about Michael?"

For the first time in a week she had said my name rather than my identifier.

I waited for permission to speak and I saw the shadow of her smile in the fog dulled light.

"You may speak to me."

I hesitated, unsure of where to start.

"Mistress - - ", I began. " I wish to apologize to you."

"For what?", she said genuinely puzzled.

"For not trusting you. I'm sorry for not trusting your judgment about me. You know more about me than I do, my darkest sides, my fears.

"You have found me worthy of your attention and trust. I have failed you by my lack of faith. I am sorry."

She placed her hand under my chin and raised it so I could see into her eyes.

"Have you learned from your error?", she asked simply.

"Yes Controller. I will never again lose sight of the fact you have found me worthy. I will always try and remember that you are forgiving of errors, as long as I try my best."

"Wisdom found in the fog and night, is sometimes more satisfying than finding it in the light of day", she said, thoughtfully.

I waited as she reached for the bag she had been carring on our walk. From it she withdrew a jogging suit and a pair of shoes.

"Get dressed Michael. I have no desire for you to catch cold."

She unclipped my leash long enough for me to pull on the top of the suit, then reattached it.

She led me upright back to the path and we started towards the park entrance. As we walked towards the hotel I could hear the chimes of Big Ben echoing across London.

"You know that we will be returning home soon, Michael. When we do, I will return to my life, and you must return to yours.", she reminded me.

"Yes I know.", I sighed.

"You won't be neglected while I'm gone. I''ve made arrangements for you to serve another until I return."

I stopped in surprise.

"You what ..", I said in a stunned voice.

She looked at me and laughed at the expression on my face.

"You are sworn to serve me. And you have sworn to serve others as required. Now is the time. Your training must be maintained while I am absent. You will serve another while I am gone.", she said in an amused tone.

"But . .", I started.

"You are questioning an order M-5?", she said viciously.

I dropped to my aching knees.

"No Controller!"

"Good. Trust me Michael. Have I ever asked you to do anything that you couldn't handle?", she reminded me.

"Stand on my head."

"Well, that of course. Now stand up and come along."

I looked at my Mistress, my owner, my love, through the fog. A streetlight at the entrance formed a halo of light around her, making her glow with an unearthly radiance, the image of the power she controlled over me.

We continued walking towards the hotel as I considered what the future held for me.

I knew it would not be mundane or dull.

Sections 8 and 9