The Diaries of Ayesha

My search for the Goddess Erato having run into a brick wall in New York, I was about to throw in the towel as the next location I had to check was in Australia and my budget, despite the Bank’s generosity did not cover airfare to the land Down Under.

A chance meeting of Ace and Denny at a party Mistress Minx had organized put me back on the road again working my way across the Pacific as a roadie for the Harmonica Virgins all girl band.

My last stint working for the band had resulted in having to help Valerie the lead singer escape a riot by her fans. I had hopes of this trip being a bit less fraught; but then again I’m an incurable optimist.

Getting to go on this trip was a bit more involved then Denny and Ace had led me to believe or in fact believed themselves.

"You want to haul his ass to Australia? For what?" Valerie demanded as a young oriental girl massaged her shoulders.

"I need a tech and he needs a trip to Australia. It balances out," Ace explained.

"You can hire a tech there cheaper," Val objected.

"I can’t hire a tech who knows the band and how I work. I want him. Denny wants him."

Val snorted in derision.

"I know why she wants him. Can’t you pick up a fuck toy there? Dildos are cheaper."

Denny glared at her.

"Like your little almond eyed pet isn’t replaceable as well?"

"You two sound like you found a lost kitten. It followed me home, can I keep it mommy?" Val continued.

Ace leaned on the desk and as I’ve said before, Ace is not a small woman. It groaned under the weight.

"Does he go or not?" she asked quietly.

Val looked at me and leaned back in her chair.

"He works or he pays his own way back. And if he gives me any shit, I’ll kick all three of your asses."

"We’ll keep him out of your hair," Denny assured her.

Val grimaced and waved us out of the room as the girl started nuzzling her neck.

In retrospect, if Val had been able to ship me in the hold in an animal cage she probably would have. Instead she settled for having me ride all the way in the back of the plane with the equipment and the technicians instead of up front with Denny.

"We are now starting our descent into Melbourne. Please return your seats to their upright position," a voice said waking me from a dream in which I was in bed with both Minx and Dominique. "You back with us?" Ace asked as I struggled to get the seat back into an upright position again.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was having a rather nice dream," I explained.

"I could tell. You kept begging for more whipping," she smirked.

"I didn’t! Did I?" I protested blushing.

"You did," she insisted.

I just sat and blushed all through the landing.

My hopes for a little peace were dashed almost as soon as we entered the terminal and cleared Customs. I found myself staring at what I would normally have considered a lynch mob, but in this case were fans of the band that had turned out to greet them.

"Raw meat for the balcony," I commented looking at the screaming fans on the other side of the glass barrier.

"At least we don’t have to run the gauntlet. We’re going the back way out," Ace advised motioning the rest of the technical crew and I to follow her towards a stairwell to the side of us.

"What about the girls?" I asked.

"Don’t worry about them, they’re in their element now. We’ll meet them at the Sheraton later. Right now we need to get our equipment to the concert hall and get set up. "

Ace’s reputation as a planner paid off again as we found two small trucks waiting with the equipment outside the door at the bottom of the stairs.

"You want this delivered to the concert hall, right?" the first truck driver confirmed.

"Right. I’ve got some people waiting to unload it. If you get it there quick enough I’ll buy the first round," Ace advised.

She didn’t need to tell him twice. He hit the gas and was moving like a rocket towards the main gate with the second truck close behind.

"The guy must be thirsty," I said watching the dust settle.

"So am I, but business first," Ace advised as a minibus pulled up for us.

We arrived only a few minutes after the trucks did despite the traffic blockage on Queens Bridge and found the crew unloading the equipment and setting it up on stage.

"Strewth, you hardly needed me for this trip Ace," I said looking at the speed the crew was working at.

"Oh I need you for this trip and so does the rest of the band, trust me on that," she reassured me.

"I hope so. Val didn’t seem thrilled about my coming along you know," I reminded her.

"She’ll get over it. She’s still a bit embarrassed about some of the things she said and did the last time. Of course getting sober lets you see a lot of things you would rather not see."

"Not clean and sober?"

Ace shook her head.

"No, she's still smoking weed, but she's dumped the booze."

"Not a problem I’ve ever had. Unless you count my addiction to Minx," I agreed.

"Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love," Ace sang off key.

"You’re no threat to Robert Palmer," I grinned.

"And thank you for your support. Let’s go check out the control booth," she said leading the way.

The control booth was crowded with cables and equipment and in the center of it sat a computer monitor and keyboard.

"Beauty," Ace said. "We can drive most of the lighting with the computer system. I take it you can program it?"

"Let me take a look at the program," I said starting the system.

To my relief it was pretty stupid proof, even for me. The programming was driven by a script file that consisted of telling the system which lights were to be turned on and off and when from the start of the program.

"Looks like a snap if we can keep the timing right. We can program most of the light cues Ace," I suggested.

"That’s assuming that we can keep the band on track. Program it anyway and then we’ll use the manual override if necessary. I can program it, but if you can do it that frees me up for the sound system."

"No problem Ace," I said confidently.

"Hey Sheila!" the truck driver called. "We’ve done our part, what about the pub?"

Ace stuck her head out of the door.

"Where do you usually go around here?" she asked.

"Not my part of town," he called back.

"Then we’ll meet you at the pub in the Sheraton Hotel. If you and your mates get there before we do, tell them to bill the drinks to the Harmonica Virgins."

"Good on ya!" he said and left.

"Sheila?" I asked Ace.

"Slang for a woman, not always a nice girl," Ace explained.

"Terrific. Should we follow them, or finish here first?"

"We can come back later and finish up. We need to be there if only to make sure that bar bill doesn’t exceed what we’re being paid for the performance."

When we got to the hotel we were greeted by a somewhat distraught hotel manager who seemed to feel there was a problem with the behavior of our guests even more so than with the band.

"Trust me on this one, the crew is the least of your worries, " I explained as Ace went to see what the situation was in the bar.

"I hardly think you understand the situation. They’ve brought a kangaroo into the place. It’s against the health codes," he sputtered.

"And so is serving raw meat. But when Butch calls the kitchen, she’d better be able to get it. Haven’t you ever had a rock band stay in this hotel before?"

"Not like this we haven’t"

I smiled at him knowingly.

"You live and learn."

Or you don’t live long, I thought.

I joined Ace in the bar to find a whole lot of drinking going on. Val and the rest of the girls were holding court, although I noticed Val had a bottle of mineral water instead of a beer, and a fairly short marsupial was being held on the end of a leash by one of the guys.

I’d never seen a kangaroo before other than in pictures and cartoons, so I found myself comparing the reality and the facts.

Frankly, it wasn’t as cute as it was described. It sat hunched over, almost on all fours and rocked back and forth slightly on its big feet.

"What do you think of it?" Denny asked making her way to my side.

"It doesn’t look like a big mouse to me. Sylvester the Cat must be really stupid," I said.

She laughed and then pulled me away from the rest of the group.

"I need you to do me a favor," she said snuggling up to me.

"And what kind of favor did you have in mind?" I replied lecherously.

She slapped my ass gently and smiled.

"Later baby. I want you to keep an eye on Ace for me," she said.

"Why?" I asked surprised.

"She’s been a little strange about this trip. I think something’s bothering her about it."

"If you say so, but she seems fine to me."

"Trust me, you’ll notice soon enough. Now how about we get out of here and get a nice quiet dinner someplace?" she offered.

"Lead on. I assume you know where you’re going."

"Not a clue, but I’ve got a yen for Chinese food," she said as we made our way to the door.

"The yen is Japanese, not Chinese," I replied smugly.

"And your ass is mine when we get back," she warned.

"Promises promises."

As it turned out she didn’t need to know where we were going as the cab driver knew exactly where to go upon being told we were looking for good Chinese food.

Logically enough he dropped us off in Chinatown, which tells you how much I knew about Melbourne at that point. I could see a map was going to be a real necessity if I was going to be here for any length of time.

Denny and I finally settled on a place called the Empress of China and selected a seat in the back corner of the restaurant for a little more privacy.

After we ordered she looked at me with a raised eyebrow and pointed a finger at me.

"I understand you haven’t exactly been a good boy since we were last together. Something about starting a cattle stampede?"

"I had help. Besides it was only a little one and in a good cause," I explained.

"I also understand you threw Minx’s fiancé into a pond. Same reason?" she continued.

"He insulted me grievously. Besides when I threw him into the pond he was technically her ex-fiancé so I don’t think it should count against me anyway," I said with a touch of petulance.

"And now you’re chasing all over the world in search of a woman who you only spent a few days with. Are you ever going to settle down?"

I picked up my teacup and looked at her over the rim of it.

"Is that a proposition?" I asked carefully.

"Goddess no Michael! I mean I really like you a lot and in some ways I guess I do love you, but I’m not the marrying kind," she objected.

"I was the marrying kind dear, but now I’m not. As to settling down, I lost that ability when Minx brought me into Ay’esha. How would I explain to a wife about it? Like "Gee honey, I just got a phone call and I have to go to Hong Kong with another woman to fight evil, but I should be back by Tuesday?" That would go over really well with most women."

"I think you’re being a little over dramatic. And you might find someone in Ay’esha to marry if you really tried."

I finished my tea and sat back as the food was delivered before replying.

"Is this your subtle way to tell me you don’t want to sleep with me?" I asked as the waiter left.

She picked up her chopsticks and pointed them at me.

"This is my not so subtle way to suggest you might want to settle down and stop chasing rainbows. And yes, I still do want to sleep with you," she said with a smile.

As we ate, her comments about settling down started to gnaw at me to the point where I finally had to say something about it.

"Is there some reason you’ve suddenly got a bee in your bonnet about my settling down?" I finally asked.

"I was just thinking looking at you that you’re not getting any younger and…" she started to say.

"Are you trying to tell me you think I’m getting too old for this shit?" I snapped.

"No I’m not," she snapped back

"This is sounds a hell of a lot like if you can’t run with the big dogs, you’d better stay on the porch to me. Thank you for your concern about my age, but I’m not dead yet."

"I hope not. I draw the line at necrophilia," she said trying to lighten the mood.

"Don’t knock what you haven’t tried," I replied wryly.

"Michael!"

The hotel manager was a bit less unsettled when we returned after dinner and greeted us politely when we stepped up to the desk.

"Mr. Forbin, I have you sharing a suite with Miss Lightning. Miss Denny, I have you sharing a suite with Miss Butch," he said handing us each a room key.

"Excuse me I was supposed to be staying with Miss Denny," I objected.

"I know sir, but Miss Lightning had your room assignment changed. I’m sorry," he said and walked away.

I looked at Denny and shrugged.

"I’ll find out what her problem is and we can change it in the morning," I said lamely.

"You’d better. I’m horny as hell and not in the mood for a dildo," she grumbled as we rode up in the elevator.

I found Ace sitting in an armchair near the door when I let myself in. She was dressed in a very tight black dress and wearing high heels, which for Ace was more than slightly unusual.

"Before you say anything about the change in the rooms, it was necessary," she said.

"And before I say anything else, I’d like to tell say you look stunning tonight. Hot date?" I replied.

She actually blushed before she answered.

"Well sort of. Oh hell, I don’t know exactly how to explain this but, well I met this guy through the Internet and we’ve been talking for years and he lives here and, well anyway."

"Nudge nudge wink wink, say no more, say no more. When are you meeting him?"

"That’s the problem. I’m afraid to. I mean what if he’s disappointed. We’ve never even talked on the phone before."

I could understand her problem. The meetings I’d had in the past with people from the Internet had ranged from very good to "Scotty, save my ass!"

"Well you know what he looks like right? I mean you’ve exchanged pictures haven’t you?"

She hesitated.

"Well not exactly. He knows I’m a big woman, but not exactly how big I am."

"That’s not an answer Ace. Did you send him a picture of you or not?"

"Well yeah, but it was a few years old."

"How old Ace?" I persisted.

"College."

"And when did you graduate?" I asked sweetly.

"Awhile ago."

I wasn’t about to ask a lady her age, but I knew from an earlier discussion she had worked as a broadcast engineer with Wolfman Jack in New York after college.

"Uh, Ace, you weren’t exactly forthcoming about your age," I scolded. "That was more than a few years ago."

"I know!" she wailed. "Now I feel like a fool!"

"So the reason you had my room assignment changed was so you could sneak in and out and see this guy without anybody else knowing about it," I surmised.

"Yes. I know it’s not very fair to you, but I couldn’t think of anything else to do."

I sighed knowing that I was going to do the right thing instead of what I wanted to do.

"So how can I help Ace? I can break the glass, but I can’t hold back the weather. "

"If I don’t get back in time for rehearsals do the best you can to keep things moving. I should be back in time."

"Ace, you have no idea how much you just complicated my life, but hey, I’m a sucker for a love story. Off with you then, and try not to turn into a pumpkin on me," I said waving towards the door.

She got to her feet and kissed me on the cheek and then as she reached the door turned back towards me with a giggle.

"Funny, you don’t look anything like a fairy godmother."

"No, I’m a fairy godfather," I lisped," and I’m going to make you an offer you can’t refuse. Just call me Don Bruce."

Exit Ace, laughing leaving your erstwhile scribe to sleep, nay perchance to dream.

Between jet lag and everything else, waking up that next morning was not high on my list of thrilling experiences, especially as I was waking up alone and down the hall from where I wanted to be waking up.

My day did not improve when I took my shower. The hot water suddenly turned ice cold causing me to yelp in pain and jump out.

I looked back shivering and decided that anything else that could happen to me today wouldn’t be any worse that what I’d already gone through.

There was a banging on the door as I got dressed and I opened it to find Butch standing there with Denny.

"Lets get fed and on the road," Butch said as I struggled to pull my pants up.

"Sure. Did you want to eat downstairs of someplace else?"

"Any place man. I’m hungry. Where’s Ace?" she asked.

"She left already. Guess she couldn’t sleep," I lied and grabbed my vest to pull over my shirt.

"She’s been acting weird lately," Butch continued, " Maybe she’s starting to change."

"Into what?" I asked innocently.

"Asshole," she said in mock anger." She is a bit older than the rest of us. She might be starting menopause."

"She’s not that much older than I am," I retorted.

"Well you’re an old fart anyway."

" Excuse me, that’s Mister Old Fart. Let’s get breakfast. I need my prunes and Postum to start the day," I corrected.

We were about halfway through breakfast when Alexandra and Val joined us at our table and the discussion we were having about age turned to a discussion about something to spice the show up a little.

"I don’t know what the law here in Melbourne is about public nudity, but you could always play topless," I suggested.

"You’d enjoy watching that too much pussyboy. No, we need something different. Something really outrageous," Val rejected.

"How about Butch biting the head off a chicken and spitting it into the crowd?" Denny posed.

"It’s been done, but you’re on the right track. Maybe having sex with a sheep or something like that."

We all looked at her like she’d finally gone off the edge.

"Well the sheep would at least be easy to get. But can you sing ‘ I’ll never find another ewe’?" I finally said.

My downfall came from a direction I would have least expected: Alexandria.

"What about that kangaroo the guy had the other day? We could have someone box with it," she suggested quietly.

"No, I’ve got a better idea. Put it in bondage on stage."

I looked at the four of them knowing exactly who was going to get that job unless I could come up with a real good reason I was unqualified to do it.

"Yeah the guy who owns him was wrestling with him the other night. He’d be perfect for it. I’ll talk to him about it later," Val concluded. "By the way, have you seen Ace?"

"Michael said she left early," Denny replied.

"Well she forgot to take the arrangements with her. We need to practice the changes I made on the new number today. Michael, make sure you stop by my room and get the bag marked SCORES before you go to the theater," she instructed.

Well at least I avoided becoming a ‘roo wrangler.

"Yes Mistress," I replied as the waitress walked up.

"You’ve got that one trained right," she commented to Val as she cleared the table.

"Oh you don’t know the half of it. Maybe I’ll loan him to you later," Val replied with a wink at me.

"That’s right, make me a public utility like the telephone," I replied. "I’ll have you know I’m not that kind of a boy."

"You’re a slut and we all know it, but maybe she’d like to find out for herself."

The waitress laughed in reply and walked away.

"You know, that’s the most common reaction I get from women. They laugh and they walk away," I said.

"Try keeping your clothes on the next time," Butch chortled.

"Was it really necessary for me to travel halfway around the world to be abused? Couldn’t I have gotten it closer to home? I don’t get no respect." I asked looking at the ceiling in supplication.

"And I can’t get no satisfaction," Denny replied. "But tonight that is going to change, isn’t it?"

"It is?" I asked.

"This is where you’re supposed to nod and say yes Mistress," she prompted.

"Yes Mistress," I replied with a nod.

"Good boy. Well train you to roll over next."

I was waiting at the elevator with the scores when the door slid open to show Ace with a black eye, a torn dress and smelling like vomit.

"Jesus Ace! What the hell happened? Did he beat you up?" I said helping her to the room.

"Hell no. His Mistress did this, but I got in a few good ones myself," she said.

"Mistress? He’s got a Mistress? Didn’t you know that?" I said ushering her into the room

"Well he left her a long time ago, but she still thinks she’s got possession," she explained as she slowly undressed. I could see a trail of yellow green bruises forming along her rib cage.

"I hope you knocked her on her ass Ace," I said shaking my head.

"I just hope she doesn’t take it out on Nicky," she replied sitting down in the chair.

"Where did all this happen? His place?"

She shook her head.

"No, we met at a club called Smut. We were really starting to get along when she showed up and even before I could say anything threw a punch."

"I figured she sucker punched you, ‘cause unless she’s bigger than you are, she shouldn’t have done that much damage."

"Yeah, bitch kicked me in the ribs a few times too, think she might have cracked one. Then poor dear Nicky was so upset he threw up."

She pulled herself out of the chair and staggered into the bathroom and started the shower running leaving me to clean up the debris of her night out.

When she came back into the room she dressed slowly and carefully, wincing as she bent over to slip her shoes on.

"Ace, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to try and work today," I advised.

She looked at me sourly.

"No shit Sherlock. But there will be more questions if I don’t show up than if I show up with a black eye. I can always say I tripped and hit the door," she warned.

She was right of course. She got ragged about her clumsiness, but otherwise the girls left her alone that morning.

Val was enthused about the kangaroo and the owner was more than willing to wrestle the thing on stage and try and put it in bondage for the money she offered.

"I’ve wrestled that thing into his collar enough times, so this should be a breeze," he bragged.

I had my doubts, but hey what do I know about kangaroos anyway?

The first walk through went fine and it let me set up the lighting while Ace balanced the soundboard and directed the rest of the set up.

By that afternoon we were ready for a full run through before the show that night.

It was during the run through that the famous Mr. Murphy of Murphy’s Law fame made his appearance.

The band had just started the number that the kangaroo was to appear in and his owner was doing a mighty job trying to secure the beast, but the noise of the music and the lights must have panicked the bugger no end. He kicked out with his hind feet catching the owner in the ribs.

I heard the crack of the bones over the music and the ‘roo took off into the theater leaving the owner laying on the stage doubled over holding himself.

By the time we got the ‘roo corralled and the owner carted off to the hospital we were running close to show time.

"Do we drop the number?" Ace asked Val after we got back from the hospital.

"Fuck no. Call a vet and have the little bastard tranquilized before the show. I’m not giving up the number."

We tried to convince her to change her mind, but when it’s made up, it’s final.

"Well then who’s going to wrestle the thing?" Ace reminded her.

"He can do it. If the fucker is stoned, he can’t get hurt can he?" Val said pointing to me.

"No fucking way! Even if he is stoned, he’s still going to weight a ton," I protested.

"Do you want to walk back to the States? Because if you don’t wrestle the fucking thing, that’s the only way you’re getting back! Got it?" she snarled.

"Oh come on Val, be reasonable," Denny objected." He could still get hurt."

"You and Ace talked me into bringing him along. I don’t pay to have my fuck toys travel with us, and I’m not paying for yours. He wrestles the thing or his ass is out the door!"

"You are a real bitch Val. Just drop the number. We can do it at the Sydney show," Butch chimed in.

Alexandria joined in the objections as well but Val was adamant. I was going to wrestle that kangaroo or else.

I finally decided I’d had enough of the argument and gave in.

"I’ll do it, but I’m sending you the bill if he kicks me too," I said grudgingly.

"He won’t. Trust me."

I was tempted to ask if that that translated to fuck you but decided against it.

"I’ll call a vet. It’s only an hour till show time," Ace said and headed for the phone.

The vet arrived a few minutes later and offered only minor objections to drugging the animal after seeing how much Val was willing to pay to have it done.

He administered the tranquilizer but warned he didn’t know how long it would last or what the exact effect would be.

"I had to guess at the body weight so I won’t guarantee more than about two hours. He’ll still be mobile, but less inclined to kick," the vet assured me.

"But teeth and claws he’s got," I remarked.

"Hey mate, you volunteered for this. "

"The hell you say. I was drafted!"

A few minutes before show time Denny came up to me dressed in her leathers and took my hand.

"You really don’t have to do this. I can pay her back for your air fare," she said squeezing it.

"And have her blow you and Ace shit about it. No way. I always pay my dues and if Val wants to be a bitch about it, I can be just as stubborn. So get that beautiful body of yours on stage and let’s get ready to rumble."

She kissed me deeply and then headed for the stage as I watched her go longingly. I sighed then joined Ace in the control booth.

The booth was situated where we could not only see the stage area, but part of the front row as well.

Ace looked over the crowd then pointed happily at a young man in the front row.

"Look, that’s Nicky. He made it. I hoped he would," she gushed excitedly.

Her excitement turned to annoyance a minute later as the seat next to him was occupied by a young lady in spandex.

"Judging from your reaction, the young lady who just sat down is the bitch," I said.

"Tandia the slut," Ace said and then turned away.

"Cheap slut at that. If she wants to be slinky then she should at least wear leather," I sniffed.

A glance at the clock reminded us that duty called.

"OK girls," Ace called into her headset microphone, "we’re at T-5 minutes and counting to show time. If anybody needs to pee, now is the time."

Valerie’s voice crackled into my headset in response.

"I’ll save it for Michael," Val replied.

I keyed my microphone.

"Promises promises. Is your new assistant into that?"

"I save that for naughty boys. Just don’t fuck up with the kangaroo okay?"

"Gee are you worrying about little old me?"

"Fuck no, I’m worried about the kangaroo."

"One minute," Ace warned.

"Take a stress pill Ace, I know what fucking time it is."

"And what time is it?" the band chorused into my ears.

"Time to ROCK AND ROLL!" Val shouted as the curtain rose.

Ace turned the gain down on the headsets to preserve what little hearing I had left and we settled back to monitor the control board.

Val and the girls stuck right to the timing we had laid out for the songs and before I wanted it the time had come for me to deal with the kangaroo.

"Break a leg," Ace said as I unplugged my headset.

"Just don’t tell the ‘roo that OK?" I said and climbed back down to the stage.

The stage crew had the kangaroo all ready to go when I got down, so all I had to do was change. I wasn’t going to wrestle the thing in anything other than my leathers and wearing a pair of gloves.

One of the crew handed me a wireless headset and I checked in with Ace.

"You got me?"

"Five by. OK, remember at the end of this number the lights go down and you have about thirty seconds to get the kangaroo on stage and in position," she warned.

"I ain’t taking nothing out. The crew is gonna drop the thing into position and then I’ll come on stage to deal with it," I retorted.

I examined my opponent carefully and other than a glazed look in its eyes, it seemed harmless enough.

The lights went down and three of the crew picked up the drugged animal and moved it to the center of the stage then dashed for the wings as Val hit the first chord and the lights came up.

"Tie me kangaroo down sport, tie me kangaroo down," she sang as I tackled the beast like a cowboy throwing a bull at a rodeo.

That at least was the plan. The kangaroo had other ideas and I found myself under the beast as it rolled on top of me and halfheartedly kicked at me and then pissed all over me.

I rolled back over on top of it to the cheers of the crowd just in time to slip on a pile of ‘roo doo sending it into the front row. I don’t know if it was the Goddess or just the physics of flying ‘roo droppings, but they mostly landed in the lap of Nicky’s lady friend.

I couldn’t hear the music any more because of Ace laughing in my headset and the noises the ‘roo was making but I could tell from the expressions of the band as we rolled around that we were a big hit with the crowd.

When the lights went down the crew dashed out and hauled the ‘roo off me and I managed to get off stage before the lights came back up again.

One of the guys helped me get out of the urine soaked leathers as well as he could while holding his breath and finally left me to the task.

I sat in my underwear on a small stool while the band finished the show staring at the ‘roo who just stared right back at me. I had heard that koala tasted like barbecued cough drops because of their diet of eucalyptus leaves, and I was seriously wondering what kangaroo tasted like.

The party after the show was more raucous than I remembered from before although I did notice people tended to avoid me even though I’d showered twice.

Eau de ‘Roo was not going to be a threat to the great smell of Brut.

"So what are you doing later tonight?" one young lady asked as I stood with a beer (root beer) in my hand watching the party.

"Same thing I do every night," I replied evilly. "Try and take over the world."

She looked at me blankly as I smiled at her then she laughed and wandered away to hit on Val’s little fortune cookie while I steeled myself for another brawl.

I knew for a fact that Val had no sense of humor about people messing with her toys, any more than Minx did.

"Not having any fun?" Denny asked slipping her arm into mine.

"Well after having my butt kicked by an oversized marsupial in front of a room full of people, I’m not feeling like a party animal. Besides, I’d rather be with you," I admitted.

"Easily arranged. Let’s go back to the hotel and jump in the spa. A bottle of wine, a hot soak, and we’ll see what use I can find for your other talents," she purred.

We’d almost made it out the door when our departure was blocked by Tandia, pieces of ‘roo dung still clinging to her spandex, struggling with a security guard.

"I’m going to kill him!" she was screaming.

I looked at Denny and shrugged helplessly.

"Another day, another death threat."

He managed to get her out of our way although she made a good try at kicking me as we passed her.

"Who is that woman?" Denny asked as we rode back to the hotel.

"When I took a header on stage I kicked ‘roo doo all over the front row and I guess she caught most of it," I explained not wanting to go into all the details.

"What a bitch. All she had to do was ask and we’d pay for her clothes and then some," Denny remarked.

"Well some people just don’t know how to ask nicely."

Denny was right; The soak in the spa finally got the kinks out of my back from the weight of the ‘roo falling on me and we snuggled together to look at the stars as she sipped her wine.

"I’ve never seen so many," she said.

"It’s darker here than at home. You can even see stars here that you can’t see from home," I said pointing at a fuzzy patch of light near the horizon. "That’s a galaxy just like the Milky Way. Maybe somewhere millions of light years away some other couple is sitting in a tub of water having the same discussion looking at our galaxy."

"I’ll never understand you Michael. You’re sitting in a hot tub with a woman and yet you can speculate about aliens," she said shaking her head in amazement.

"Makes me who I am," I replied.

"Yes it does. It makes you weird but lovable," she replied and then with one swift motion removed her bikini top allowing her firm breasts to fall out.

"Was there something you wanted me to see?" I asked with a straight face.

"Shut up," she said and pulled me to her.

We made slow sensual love in the spa, feeling the warm waters flowing around us as I held her against me, her legs wrapped behind my back pulling me tightly against her.

The next morning as we ate breakfast together in the café we were joined by Ace, who handed me a copy of the morning newspaper, open to the entertainment section.

There in the middle of the page was a photo of me under the kangaroo.

"Just terrific. I wonder how much it would cost to buy every copy and shred them?" I mused handing the paper to Denny.

"You’re famous," Denny said as she read the story.

"You’re also wanted by the Animal Regulation department for animal abuse," Ace inserted.

"I abused the kangaroo? You’ve got to be kidding!" I sputtered.

"Well wrestling the ‘roo wasn’t the problem, but it seems that drugging it was."

"And who told the authorities that we drugged it?" Denny interjected.

"Somebody got a look at it after the show and called them," Ace finished.

"I’ll bet that somebody was a bitch named Tandia," I concluded.

"Who?" Denny asked.

"The chick in the spandex who was screaming at us last night. She’s a not-friend of Ace," I explained.

"And I’ll bet that’s really how Ace got the black eye too," Denny snickered.

Ace grimaced and confessed the truth including her cyber-lust for Nicky.

"That’s why I had Michael bunk in with me. I didn’t want any of you to know about it, especially Val and Butch. I was going to sneak off every night to be with Nicky," she admitted.

"So how much is the fine? Val paid enough to have the job done, paying the fine should be cheap enough." I suggested.

"They’re treating it as a felony case."

"A felony to dope a kangaroo?"

"Seems they’re treating it under the same law as doping a racehorse," Ace shrugged.

"Well I didn’t do the doping, the vet did! And Val paid him! " I objected.

"That’s not what Val told the cops. She said it was all your idea. But she told them you wouldn’t be back until after noon, so you’ve got a head start."

"What about the guy who owns the kangaroo? He can tell them what really happened."

Ace shook her head.

"He was so doped up on pain killers he swears he doesn’t remember anything."

"So why didn’t you tell the cops otherwise?" I asked standing up.

"I wasn’t there. They got Val this morning when she came in from a party. The last thing she was going to tell them is she paid to have the animal drugged. Especially as she was holding at the time. She told me to warn you. Look this whole thing will blow over in a week or so. Just get out of town and do what you need to do and meet us in Brisbane in few days."

"I didn’t do anything wrong!" I protested.

"Hey the cops think otherwise. Now do you want to spend the next couple of weeks in jail, or haul ass?"

Why was I beginning to feel like The Fugitive?

Chapter 25 Sections 1 to 6

Xanadu
Don Quixote de La Mancha
Far Above Cayuga's Waters
Garden Party
Tie Me Kangaroo Down
Waltzing Matilda