The Diaries of Ayesha

This was the first time I'd been on a field assignment without Mistress Minx or at least Michael to count on for help or a kind word. I was in the hands of Kali and I wasn't sure I liked it one damned bit.

A bright yellow Mazda Miata pulled to a stop in front of where I was waiting, driven by a blond girl with punker red stripes in her hair.

"You Miriam? I'm Beth. I'm supposed to drive you to the Retreat and get you ready," she said.

"Ready for what?" I asked as she sped up the narrow highway towards the hills.

"You were briefed for this. I don't think I need to explain this to you," she sneered. "Getting cold feet baby girl?"

She skidded us around another curve and if anything drove even faster than before.

"First off, I was told that I was to meet with the Right Reverend and try and find out where the bomb is and who's controlling it. That's all I was told."

"Well honey, the Right Reverend as you call him is a sadistic little swine who gets his rocks off beating up young girls to punish them for their sins," she said. "If you can get him to confess his, good luck to you."

She kept her mouth shut for the rest of the trip which suited me fine, as I was already nervous enough from her driving.

The Retreat was a massive red brick structure nestled against a wooded hill, with huge tracts of land around it. Beth skidded to a halt in front of the main doors and threw the keys to a parking attendant and throwing my travel bag to a bellboy.

"C'mon hurry up," She said leading the way into the building.

I hurried after her, through the lobby ignoring the looks of the people sitting there and into an elevator just before the doors closed.

"Stay on your toes sweet cheeks. You're going to be playing with the big kids now," Beth said.

"Look, I know I haven't done as much of this as you have, but I've been around a little too, so stop calling me kid. Or you can do it yourself," I protested as the doors opened on the top floor.

"Sure. Look, he's into young virginal girls not girls like me. That's why you got this assignment" she said and took out a set of keys and opened a door.

She swung the door open and I found myself looking at a palatial suite, the furnishings at least a hundred years old and just radiating the feel of serious money and comfort.

"I'm not exactly a virgin, " I said as she closed the door behind me.

"He's not going to fuck you anyway, so it doesn't matter. Appearance is everything with this guy. We've got about an hour before he gets here, so go in the bathroom and get cleaned up. When you come out I'll have everything ready for you," Beth said opening a closet and pulling out a set of clothing that would make me look like a school girl.

I did as I was told and when I came out let her dress me in a schoolgirl uniform right down to the shiny patent leather shoes. No panties mind you, but accurate otherwise.

"Now it's very simple. He's going to scold you and tell you that your sins have to be cleansed. He's probably going spank you first then he'll get out the whips and the floggers. He's into hearing you beg and cry, so be loud for him. Afterwards he'll bless you and send you away. He might ask you to have a drink with him and that's when you can slip him a Mickey Finn. Actually what we have in mind is a light dose of some truth serum so we can find out all of the nasty little details of the plot. What you have to do is get him into a position that you can hit him with this," Beth said showing me what looked like a fountain pen.

I examined it carefully and made sure I understood how it worked.

"You're only going to get one shot at it, so make it good. The dose is enough that if you can get him to have a couple of drinks, it will hit him almost instantly and he won't remember anything afterwards."

"And if I can't do it?" I asked.

"Then we may all be dead very soon. If you screw up and he catches you, you'll just be dead ahead of the rest of us. Happy now?"

"Oh yes, thank you," I said.

I understood now why Michael was more than slightly sarcastic at times with people like this to work with.

"Look, I know I'm being tough on you, but I think that this is one of the screwiest plans I've ever heard and I'm worried about you. I hope Isis knows what she's doing getting you involved," she said less harshly.

"Beth, I volunteered for this job. My Mistress and your leader are in the middle of nowhere, one of my few friends is looking for her and my Mistress' husband is sitting, waiting not knowing if she's alive or dead. If I can do anything to help, I'm going to. I'm not into pain and I don't know if I can take it, but Michael has borne pain for her and I can do no less," I said intently.

She smiled at me for a moment and there was a knock on the door.

"It's him. I'm going out the back way and I'll be back when he's done," she said and then suddenly kissed me.

"If we get through this, I want to spend some time with you," she said and fled as there was a second knock at the door.

I opened it carefully and found a well-dressed man wearing dark glasses and a radio earplug standing outside holding a briefcase.

"I'm here to make sure that you aren't disturbed," he said and stepped inside the room. He looked quickly through the rooms while I stood there watching and then stopped and mumbled into his lapel.

The door opened and the Right Reverend came in and took the case from his bodyguard and dismissed him.

"Well young lady," he said warmly," I understand that you have committed a number of sins."

I listened to his voice and forgot for a moment that this man was an enemy. This man has plans to destroy a city for his own aims.

But he sounded so nice. Listening to him talk to me about sins, I wanted to be punished by him. I wanted to suffer for him. I fought to remember who I was and what I was there for. His voice was warm and seductive. It was a voice that compelled you to obey. I looked into his eyes.

I saw the thrill of power in them, the evil. Not the power that my Mistress knew she had, or the power that I saw in Michael at times, but the uncontrolled power to destroy. I wasn’t anything more to him than an object to be used and discarded.

I shivered and he saw it.

"Yes, you must be punished for your sins," he said and bent me over his lap.

He didn’t warm me up as did the Mistress, he started on me hard with his hand, all the while reminding me that I was born to suffer.

Perhaps he was right. I had suffered. I had suffered at the hands of my mother, her abuse, not physically, but verbally. I could never do anything right so far as she was concerned. It didn’t matter that I paid my own way through high school and college. It didn’t matter that I graduated at the top of my class. I wasn’t worth her time.

Then Minx found me. I was sitting in a coffee bar, in a corner of the room almost in darkness, just watching the people. A couple of people were dancing to the soft jazz that filtered from the speakers embedded in the ceiling.

"Tell me little mouse, do you always hide in corners?" I heard a soft voice say.
"I can’t get stepped on in a corner," I said slightly startled.
"But people can’t see how attractive you are in the darkness," she said. "Would you dance with me?"
I must have made a sound because she laughed softly.
"I’m polyamorous dear. But I just want to dance with you. Please?"
I let her lead me by the hand into the light and saw her for the first time. She had a gentle smile on her face and as she danced exuded an animal essence. I found myself trying to dance as she did, falling into her rhythms.
When the music ended she led me to her table and ordered another coffee for me.
"Thank you," she said. "I enjoyed that."
"So did I," I said with a slight blush. "I’m not very good though."
She looked at me sharply.
"Who told you that?"
"I just know it. You’re much better. Just about everybody is," I replied without thinking.
She reached out and took my chin in her hand and made me face her.
"I only deal with the best. I have no time for anything else. Please don’t insult me or yourself again."
"I’m sorry," I said flinching.

She released my chin and stroked my cheek looking into my eyes. I saw her power and her love for all that needed guidance.
"Don’t be. Just be better. Trust yourself and if you can’t trust yourself yet, trust me," she said.

I remembered those words as the pain continued. Trust yourself. I let my head drift into that warm space that exists in a submissive, that pool of contentment and sighed, becoming limp and relaxed.

He released his hold on me and pushed me onto the floor where I fell on my ass with a thump and looked up at him.

"I can see that Satan has a hold on you child. You’re a witch for a witch can not cry," he declared.

He grasped me by my hair and pulled me into the bedroom and threw me on the bed where there were already a set of restraints mounted and strapped me down, tearing the clothing from me.

"Now I’ll drive the devil from you," he said and stepped in front of me. In his hand he held a knotted cat of nine tails with barbs at the tips.

I wanted to scream when the first blow struck but I controlled myself until the third and then I cried out.

"Now, feel the pain and beg forgiveness for your sins," he demanded.

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned," I cried.

"You have betrayed me. I know you for who and what you are. You are sent here to destroy the holy plan of the Lord," he said striking me again. "

"No sir!" I said feeling the barbs cutting into my skin and tearing at me like a cat with claws outstretched.

"I know you have come for my secrets. Confess!" he screamed.

"No!" I refused. "As Jesus suffered his crown of thorns, so will I."

"But he suffered for the sins of man. You are suffering for opposing His will. God has set me to destroy his enemies, those who killed his only Son. You are nothing to me and condemned to Hell. If you die it is His will," he said using his voice again as a lash almost more intense than the physical one.

I could feel the warm trickles of blood on my back and smelled his sweat, rancid and bitter.

"I will die for my cause, no less a martyr," I gasped.

"Then die you will, but not before you tell me what you know. I know you have seen my plans, the great sacrifice I have arranged for Christmas day. Who else knows?"

He knew! I had been set up. I knew that trusting Kali was a bad idea, but I couldn’t believe that Susan had been taken in by Isis.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about. Is this part of your trip or what?" I said trying to sound confused.

He sat down on the bed and pulled my head up to face him.

"Project Megiddo my child. Tell me how much you know about it," he said gently

"I don’t know anything about it," I said. "I was just told to be here."

He released my head.

"I’m going to sit down and have a drink in the other room and let the pain convince you to tell me more. When I come back, we’ll talk a little more."

He walked out and I heard the door shut.

I struggled against the restrains in a panic. I had to get out before he killed me. Then I heard a gentle voice in my head.

"Relax Miriam. Trust me," I heard Minx say.

I thought of the first time she had placed me in bondage, how I had been frightened by the restraints. I fought them, making them tighter on my limbs.

"Relax and you’ll find they’re much more comfortable. Close your eyes" she said stroking me softly.

I started at her touch and then as she continued the strokes, I became more relaxed and the pressure on my arms and legs diminished. I found myself floating almost, warm and content.

"Open your eyes and look and your arms," she said after a time.

I looked and found my hands had slipped from the cords binding them, leaving them free.

"You were restrained only by your fears. When you relaxed, you escaped them."

As I lay there I forced myself to relax, to think of the love Minx and I shared. To think of the tenderness Michael had always shown me, his nervousness at thinking of me as a servant, knowing that one-day he would have to serve me.

I found myself thinking of what being married to the Mistress would be like and envied Michael his place. And then I wondered if he would love me as much if he were married to me. I drifted on that idea, a happy home with a loving servant. I thought of the stolen kiss in the courtyard and the warmth of his arms in Minx’s rooms at the Rancho.

I thought of his promise.

"We' ll meet where there are no shadows," he’d said.

I knew at that moment his loyalty and his love. I knew he would be there for me always, no matter what the outcome.

I moved my right hand downwards and it slipped through the restraint easily.

Free at last, free at last, thank the Goddess Almighty, free at last.

As I rolled to release my other hand the pain in my back caught me and I gasped and then froze, fearing I had been heard.

I released my other hand and then contorted myself to release my feet, each move causing more pain. I felt my back get slicker as I bled more and a slow trickle ran down my legs as I stood up.

I staggered past the mirror on the wall and saw what he had done to me and knew I had to escape if only to tell Susan that we had a traitor in our midst.

I peeked out the door and saw him sitting with a tall glass in his hand, acting as if he didn’t have a care in the world, the bastard.

I opened the door slowly, crouching low and crawled across the carpet leaving a trail of blood behind me, not caring about the damage. I wanted to be in a position to spring and throttle him, strangle him with his own tie, hurt him as he hurt me.

Then I realized he wasn’t worth it. It struck me as suddenly as a blow.

I was better than he was in every way.
He couldn’t do what I had done. He didn’t have the strength to take what he had given.

I saw the bogus fountain pen was still on the table where I had left it. If I could keep moving and if he just kept drinking, I’d be able to get it and have a weapon of some sort.

It was not to be though as there was a knock on the door and the Right Reverend got up and opened it to admit his bodyguard. I quickly rolled against the couch and lay against it.

I saw the bodyguard as he stopped at the bedroom door, looking at the blood on the carpet.

"Sir?" he said querulously.

The Right Reverend leapt to his feet and I heard the springs in the couch moan.

I shoved against it as hard as I could and was rewarded by the sound of glass breaking and a body falling to the floor swearing, leaving me exposed to the eyes of the bodyguard.

He looked at me and then at the prone form of the Right Reverend with his leg trapped under the fallen table, held down by the toppled couch.

"Damn you, you hell spawned bitch. I think you broke my ankle," the Reverend swore.

I crouched ready to defend myself from the bodyguard but he didn’t do anything, just looked at me in horror and then walked up to where the Reverend was laying and removed his radio. He unplugged it and  and dropped it on the floor.

"I quit," he said and walked out the door closing it behind him without a backward glance.

I leaned on the couch making sure the Right Reverend wasn’t getting up any time soon and looked at him with a feral smile.

"He should have some interesting stories to tell," I said the pain starting to make its way into my mind.

"I should have just killed you outright," he said through gritted teeth.

"And I should kill you now, but I was taught a little differently than you were. Life means something to me, even yours," I said.

"Save your pity. The world is going to change in a few days and you’ll need it for yourself," he spat." I know my God will forgive me."

"If you were doing the right thing to begin with, you wouldn’t need his forgiveness."

I picked the needle pen off the floor where it had fallen and held it.

"Now Reverend Sir, we’re going to have a nice little chat, and when we’re done you’ll forget this ever happened.

With that I drove the needle into his neck and pushed.

His eyes rolled back in his head and if it weren’t for the pulse in his neck I’d have assumed he was dead.

I slapped his face gently and he stirred.

"Father, talk to me," I said.

"Yes my child," he said in a slow slurred voice

"Tell me all about the bomb," I prompted.

He giggled.

"Boom. He thinks it’s a joke, but he’s stupid," he said.

"Who thinks it’s a joke?" I asked.

"Little Jew boy. He thinks it’s a joke."

"Where is the bomb?" I asked.

"I don’t know. Somewhere … over the rainbow," he sang drunkenly.

I let him sing on for a minute or two, all the while thinking he was no Judy Garland and then slapped him again less gently.

"Where is it going?"

He started singing again, and while his voice could charm the birds out of the trees, he couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

"Rock of ages cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee," he sang badly.

Shit. I knew I didn’t have much time left because I couldn’t picture the bodyguard not at least sending someone up from the hotel staff.

"When is it going to happen?" I urged.

"Sunrise, sunset, swiftly fly the years," he mumbled off key.

I didn't waste anytime. Gathering what I had I got dressed and slipped out the rear door of the suite. I figured that the stairs might be a better way to go in my condition as I was still leaving little blood spots behind me.

Just before I got to the stairs I was grabbed from behind and pulled into a room and pushed to the floor.

I rolled over and saw Beth locking the door behind me.

"Oh my Goddess," she said looking at my blood stained clothing. "I'm calling a doctor, the hell with security."

I got up and threw a punch that missed her entirely and sat me back down with a thump.

"You fucking set me up. He knew who I was and what I was there for," I said harshly

"Honey, I don't know what you're talking about. I got my orders from your boss and confirmed by Isis. There wasn't any way he could have known," she said kneeling beside me and starting to peel my clothing off me.

"He knew. He asked me about the plutonium. He knew that I knew about his plan," I said pushing her away from me.

She gripped my hands with her and looked into my face.

"Baby girl, if there was a leak, it had to be on your end. Who else was there?" she said insistently.

I thought about it. Susan and Isis and ... Yoni!

"Oh Goddess. Yoni was there too. "

"Who's Yoni?" Beth asked as she pulled my blood soaked blouse away from my skin.

"She's the Mother of Many's assistant. At least she was until Susan took over. Anna thought that Yoni and Isis weren't cooperating well enough, so Susan took over," I explained.

"Jealous?" A whole question in a single word.

"I think she was furious, but wouldn't admit it. But to betray me, to betray us all?"

Beth smirked at my innocence.

"Think about it. If the mission failed who would be blamed? Who would gain from it? Isis? She's already got what she wants. If Lydia is dead she's in line for the job of leader. But Yoni would be able to lay the blame on Susan and the Mother of Many. We know what's been going on inside Ay'esha, the debate over the plan. Yoni is on the take over side isn't she?"

"I don't know," I replied confused and starting to get dizzy from the shock of the pain.

"I don't either. But I'm going to get you into the bathtub and then I'm calling a doctor," she said and helped me into the bathroom and set me down on the toilet while she ran the bath water.

"I think I have a problem," I said and then the room dimmed and went dark as I felt myself fall.

When I woke up I was in a bed with white satin sheets and felt like I'd been out all night, just very spaced out and disoriented. I could see reddish light coming in the window and rolled over stiffly, feeling like I was in a corset. I moved my hands down my body and found I was in a corset of sorts, wrapped in yards of gauze and bandages, looking every bit like a half wrapped mummy.

I started to get up and found I was too stiff to move at all, I couldn't even bend because of the way I was wrapped.

"I used to work for Macys in the gift wrapping department," I heard Beth say." Not the same without red ribbons and a bow or two."

She stepped into my somewhat restricted view carrying a tray with a steaming bowl on it.

"Thought you might be hungry," she offered sitting the tray next to me.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"About four o'clock in the afternoon," she said. "You've been out for the better part of a day and a half."

"A day and a half! Oh shit! I have to call Susan and tell her what happened," I exclaimed.

She shoved a spoon of hot cereal in my mouth.

"Already done. At least that you'd made contact and that there was apparently a security problem. I had to tell her that in a somewhat roundabout fashion as you never know who might be listening."

"I didn't learn anything at all useful. He kept singing when I asked him questions," I said as the spoon was withdrawn.

"Eat baby. Afterwards you can tell me everything he said or sang or whatever," she insisted, placing another spoonful of oatmeal in my mouth.

She persisted and it was a good half an hour before she let me talk.

"So when you asked where the bomb was going, he just started singing Rock of Ages?" she said when I finished.

"Yes and he said that his Jew Boy friend was stupid, that he thought the bomb was a joke," I repeated.

"Damn. He must have really been hitting the bottle, until the couch dropped on him. I can't believe his bodyguard just walked out."

"I'm just grateful he did," I said when there was a knock on the door of the room

"Don't move," she said unnecessarily.

"Thanks a lot," I said sourly.

There was a muffled conversation and then she came back in with an envelope in her hand.

"The front desk just sent this up. I'm not sure who it's from," she said opening it.

She read it silently and then held it so I could read it.

"MINX AND LYDIA PRESUMED DEAD IN LEBANON. MEI LING PROCEEDING TO ISRAEL. NCA AWARE OF MISSION. MICHAEL MISSING. SITUATION CRITICAL. PROVIDE ANY INFORMATION YOU HAVE SOONEST. SUSAN"
Dead? Minx dead. Michael missing? My head started to spin again.

I felt Beth hold me tightly and then release me.

"I'm sorry. I know how you felt about her," she said.

I shook my head numbly in disbelief.

"No one knows how I felt about her except possibly Michael. Where could he be?"

"He'll turn up I'm sure. We've got to give your report to Susan and Isis. There are only three days left until Christmas."

Three days. It would take a miracle now to stop the Right Reverend.

"Get me a phone," I said.

Beth walked out and came back with a small cell phone and I dialed the Rancho.

"You have reached a number that is no longer in service. Please check the number and dial again," it answered. I waited a five count and then pressed a series of keys and was rewarded by a ringing tone and then the sound of Susan’s voice.

"Yes?"

"It’s me," I said quickly.

"And?" she said abruptly.

"All he did was sing Rock of Ages and Over the Rainbow and then he sang Sunrise, Sunset" I said.

"Interesting. When are you coming home?"

I looked at Beth who just looked back at me.

"Well I took some damage to the warp drive," I said, hoping she’d get my meaning. I’m injured

"Scotty, I need warp power in three minutes or we’re all dead," she replied. I need you back here.

She got the point.

"I can’t change the laws of physics," I said. I don’t think I can, but I’ll try.

"Make it so," she said and hung up. The last didn’t need any translation. It was clear enough.

"I’ve got to get out of here," I said rolling over slowly.

Beth pushed me back down gently

"You’re being held together with sticky tape and a hell of a lot of Neosporin. I couldn’t get a doctor here without attracting a lot of attention. At least a doctor I’d want to treat you."

"Beth, please," I said looking into her eyes pleadingly.

She sighed and then shrugged.

"Fuck it. I’ll think of something," she said and walked out.

It was the next morning and I was still lying in bed, a little less sore, but no less stiff than before when there was a knock on the door of the suite. I heard it open and a cheerful voice call "Maid service," just before I heard a thump and a groan.

Beth stuck her head around the corner and grinned.

"You wanna get out of here? You talk to me," she said in a Mel Gibson accent.

She pushed a laundry cart into the bedroom, wrapped a bathrobe around me and helped me get into it, then covered me with the dirty bed linens.

"It’s not elegant, but it works," she said

The cart bumped as we crossed the doorframe and then the ride smoothed out a little. I peeked through the laundry and watched the lights go by overhead. As Beth pushed I could hear her humming a tune that almost made me laugh; Dirty Laundry by Don Hendry. We bumped through another set of doors and the ceiling changed to plain plaster crossed by an occasional pipe and then we stopped.

Needless to say, any plan with that many steps was doomed to failure, and this one was no exception.

"Hey! Where do you think you’re going with that cart?" a strident male voice called.

"The laundry room, where else?" Beth replied sarcastically.

"Laundry goes down the chute to the left, you don’t take it downstairs," the voice said considerably closer.

"Hey I’m new here okay? Give me a break," Beth objected.

I felt the cart shake as somebody tried to pull it away.

"I’ve got it," Beth protested.

"Just get out of the way," the man ordered.

I felt the cart move and then it stopped and I felt it start to tip.

"What the hell do you have in here, a body?" he grunted.

"Not yet," Beth said grimly.

I felt the cart lift again and then it tumbled over leaving me in a heap on the floor under the laundry.

"Clumsy," Beth said. "Now I have to pick it up."

I peeked out and saw her reach for the laundry, then suddenly turn and kick the man she was arguing with in the balls, doubling him over. With one motion she shoved him forward into the laundry chute and we were rewarded by the sound of a heavy object banging into metal for a long time, fading into the distance.

She pulled me to my feet and I noticed she was dressed in a maid’s uniform.

"Where did you get the uniform?" I asked.

"Where do you think? I left a naked maid in our room. Come on," she said and helped me into the elevator.

We made it out of the building and to the car and were just starting to pull out when a police car arrived in front of the building with its siren screaming.

"Do you suppose somebody noticed something was wrong?" Beth asked as we drove out of sight.

"Probably. Between a minister with a broken ankle, a naked maid and a cleaning person with a case of blue balls all in the last two days, I expect the next message we get from the management of the hotel will be a very short one: Good Bye." I said feeling almost cheerful.

"I’ve heard that somewhere before," Beth replied. "I’ll think of it eventually."

A quick stop at a BJ's Wholesale to get me a jumpsuit to wear followed and then a drive to the airport where Beth had to really lean on the clerk at the airport to get me a flight with Christmas only a couple of days off. I suspect she promised him all the wealth of the Indies as well as a really good time to do it, but she didn't bother me with the details.

"Listen, I'm sorry if I said anything that... well I'm sorry I jumped to a conclusion about you," I said as we waited for the flight to be called.

She smiled at me.

"I didn't take it personally. But I want you to know this: I want you in my bed someday. No Ay'esha, no Kali, just you and I and a bottle of wine and a few hours away from the world," she demurred.

I thought about her words and the kindness and concern she had showed me. I remember seeing the pain in her face as she looked at my wounds. I was surprised to see compassion in her, where I had always seen cruelty in members of Kali.

"Perhaps someday you can visit me if Mistress Minx doesn't mind," I said without thinking and then it hit me fully for the first time. Mistress Minx was dead.

I started crying as this woman, a sworn enemy of what I believed in held me, and comforted me.

I heard the flight called and she let me go and wiped the tears away with the palm of her hand.

"Time for you to go," she said and walked with me to the gate.

"Thank you," I said trying to put into words what I felt.

As the plane took off I thought about her words.

We would meet again I was sure. I didn't know where or when, but I knew it would happen.

Goddess willing.

Chapter 29 Sections 1 to 10

Prologue to Eve of Destruction
Everybody Wants To Rule The World
The Bomb Run
We'll Meet Again
It Came Upon A Midnight Clear
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
It's Slinky
There's got to be a morning after
Burning Bridges
American Pie